Get Published, Part 6 – Avoiding the Common Pitfalls

Imagine yourself at a Broadway audition, and you’re the director. It’s the final cut during several rounds of call-backs, and you’re down to a small group of really fine singer/dancers.

They’re all beautiful and devastatingly talented. Bodies by Michelangelo. Perfect for the part. How to choose?

At this point you’re not looking for something to like. You’re looking for a reason to say no.

As soon as one of them slips, even a little, they’re gone.

And if nobody messes up, then it boils down to a gut hunch as to who will bring the most magic to the stage.

The dancer’s job isn’t just to avoid screwing up, it’s to light up the room.

Now imagine you’re a judge at an Olympic figure skating event. It’s the finals, and the best skaters on the entire planet remain in the competition.

You can’t give them all a medal. So what do you do? You wait for someone to fall on their ass. One little stumble and they’re out of the running for the gold.

And if nobody stumbles, then it comes down to who jumped the highest.

Stumbling is a pitfall. Not jumping high enough is also a pitfall.

Selling a novel is like this.

Everything about your story, down to the finest detail, can be extraordinary (frankly it must be extraordinary, but hang with me here, I’m making a point).

That much just might get you a second read. It may even land you an agent, but then the game is only beginning.

Because now someone else is reading it. That’s how it’s done, your novel gets covered by several readers along the path to a green light, each occupying a higher floor in the building, each with different tastes and criteria.

And possibly, agenda. There are factors other than quality that come into play, and you have no control over them. So forget them and just concentrate on not making a mistake or delivering a story with a soft spot.

Because there’s nothing political about either.

At this point all the books on the executive editor’s desk are terrific. If they’re not, somebody downstairs is gonna get fired.

Now they’re just looking for a reason to say no.

One little pitfall and you’re out of the running.

And if there isn’t one – no outright mistakes or weaknesses – it boils down to which book has the strongest assets.

Which is precisely why I’ve stated here many times that, to break into the business, something about your story and its execution needs to be off-the-charts extraordinary.

Mere excellence is a commodity that won’t get you published.

When you get to that level – that’s a huge leap, so don’t make it for yourself without understanding it – anything and everything that is either a small mistake or a less-than-stellar attribute is a pitfall.

You either fall into it, or another writer pushes you by virtue of being better. Either way, you’re buried.

To get published, you need to know what the pitfalls are.

Thus far we’ve been looking up at a high bar. There are six of them – the six core competencies of successful storytelling – each with their own standards and criteria.

The discussion at this point breaks down into two realms – how to avoid mistakes, and how to jack the core competencies through the roof.

The world’s strongest man can bench press 750 pounds. The world’s second strongest man can bench 720 pounds. Did that guy make a mistake? No. Did he get the gold medal? Also no.

Go to school on that.

Here are the most common pitfalls writers encounter, and at all levels. You’ll notice some of these mistakes and/or weaknesses in the novels you read, and when you do that’s because the author is mostly likely a proven entity, a brand name in the business.

Nelson Demille’s ending in Night Fall? Horrendous. Yet it was a #1 bestseller, the book that knocked The DaVinci Code out of that slot after more than a year, albeit only for a week. If we submitted an ending like that – three words: deux ex machina – we’d get a letter bomb from the editor.

Here are the biggies that give agents and editors what they are looking for, which is a reason to say no:

- Heroes that aren’t heroic.

This is almost always a mistake, rather than a question of comparative quality. Heroes are never rescued, they do the rescuing. They are the problem solvers, the courageous catalyst that brings about the story’s conclusion. The rejection bin is full of these stories.

- Eye-rolling wrong notes in the narrative.

Every sentence in your manuscript involves choice. Get your facts right, and have your characters deliver on their heroism with courage, ingenuity and integrity, rather than quirks. Plaid shirts and dopey fedora hats may seem cool to you, but chances are your editor will find them synonymous with the word loser. Quirks can get you rejected.

- Uneven or weak dramatic tension.

Side trips, too much backstory, useless chit-chat, slow opening scenes… they all eat away at the pace of your story. If they exist simply to show off your voice chops, it’s a fatal mistake.

- Lack of stakes.

When editors ask themselves, who cares? – you’re done. Will girl get boy? Who cares. Will we discover who killed grandma? Who cares.  (Question marks deliberately missing here, because this is as much a statement as a rhetorical inquiry.)

- Lack of meaning and resonance.

No emotional response or relevance, no sale.

- An ending that sucks.

A book without a satisfying ending, even if it’s shocking and dark, is like sex without an orgasm. Not gonna get you a second date, my friend.

Notice that pedestrian writing isn’t on this list. Bestsellers abound with writing that is nothing other than pedestrian. Even, on occasion, by unknown writers.

It’s all about the storytelling. And the storytelling is defined by the above attributes.

If they’re weak in your manuscript, that’s a mistake. If they’re only average, that’s a mistake, too.

If they’re really good, then you take your chances. Because with only so many slots available in a publishing schedule, it now boils down to if it is really good enough.

As in, better than the next manuscript in the pile.

A pitfall by any other name is still a pitfall.

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