Which includes: a compelling hero we can get behind… dramatic tension, a quest or need for the hero, something immediate that needs to be found, solved, fixed, forgiven or otherwise handled (which is why these personal stories often fall flat, the writer is too interested in “what happened” than in solid storytelling). And a list of other elements and criteria.

Story is conflict, pure and simple. You’ll need to bring conflict to the story — the hero needs and/or wants something, and there must be opposition to whatever that is (the opposition wants something, too). The story isn’t so much about what happened to you (or it shouldn’t be) as it is about the dance between these two forces, all moving forward when tension and escalating pace, with the requisite story points and themes solidly in place.

Unless your story is non-fiction. That’s another proposition entirely. And yet, one that can still benefit from tension and pace.

If you can do all this and still say what you need to say about your experience with your husband, then this will work. If not, if it’s more of a diary-type of “story,” then it’ll be tough to publish. Though, maybe well worth your effort as a means of personal catharsis and relief.

I wish you well with this! Consult my story series here on this site, or try my new ebook on story structure, to help you navigate these waters. Larry

any ideas/suggestions on how to pull THAT together?

Your note made me want to add one — where we begin isn’t important. Our stories can begin with a character, a theme, or a conceptual idea. I’ve published novels that began in each of those arenas. The big mistake too many writers make is that they spring forward from that single starting point, seeking to develop the others as they go, without exploring the inherent potential and options for the others.

The more efficient approach (notice I didn’t say “effective,” though I do believe it is… I don’t want to offend my pantser friends who claim they “just can’t” write that way… that, too, is just a choice being made), one that cuts down on rewrites and gets your draft much closer to the goal, is to ponder and plan on ALL of those fronts before you write, irregardless of which element came first.

God (or the universe, insert your own diety or belief system here) blesses us with the initial spark of a story. Where it comes from is usually a mystery. The others are up to us to forge from the pure rock of our imaginations. For that we need a sharp pick ax and a lot of energy.

Sometimes I get the concept first and develop the character next. Theme is something I’m working on. I would like to have themes in my stories to help pull it all together with greater meaning – and maybe I do have some I’m not aware of – but it is hard to create a central theme when so much is going on. My stories are in fantasy, so the general theme is good vs. evil, but I certainly want something a little deeper than that.