Monday Musings and Mundane Morning Munchies

My First Video Interview

This is pretty cool.  My friend Joanna Penn, who runs The Creative Penn (a Top-1o writing website), has created a video in which she interviews me about my new book, the pain of writing (it’s optional), what’s formulaic and what’s not, and some other cool stuff.  

Including my gesticulating too much with my hands (I tend to rant when I get excited, just like here on Storyfix), making the image look like it was shot on a ride at Universal Studios.  At least at first.  We used Skype… that metal thingie in the background belong to my guest bed, which is in my office.  Or maybe it’s the other way around.

The video is about 30 minutes long, and amounts to a mini-workshop. 

You can see it, and how little hair I have left, by clicking HERE.

I’ll be posting the video on Storyfix in a few days, too, and Joanna  has alread posted it on Youtube , as well.

My First Affiliate Product Offering

Here’s an little announcement: I’m working on converting my backlist into ebooks for distribution on Kindle and ePub.  I’m finding it’s a little like learning to fly the Space Shuttle, to be honest, which is a humbling confession in the face of how many authors are already online with this strategy.

I needed help.  So I shopped. 

And I came across the perfect solution, an A t0 Z guide to getting it done, understanding the techno-babble and finding resources to do that which was (and remains) beyond my meager techno-abilities.  I found this at the same site mentioned above — The Creative Penn — and immediately fell in love with this mini-workshop.

Considering an ebook for serious distribution?  Then you need this course.  I know I sure did.

I like it so much that I’ve signed on as an affiliate.  If you’re as baffled by the prospect of getting your work onto Kindle as I was (don’t kid yourself, there’s nothing easy about it), and you’d love to find a single source guide to parting the curtain, then I highly recommending this course.  It’s only $39.95, and well worth every dime.

You can read more about it — and order it, by clicking on the image below.

A guest post on WritetoDone.com.

Rumor has it I’ll have one running concurrent with today’s post (Monday, March 28).  If not, then soon.  Hope you’ll check it out.

And now for a little fun.

Do you know what a paraprosdokain is?  Me neither.

At least until my buddy Mike Williamsen clued me in.

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect.

– I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

– Do not argue with an idiot.  He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

– I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

– Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

– The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

– Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

– If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

– We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

– War does not determine who is right — only who is left.

– Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

– The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

– Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

– To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

– A bus station is where a bus stops. A railway station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.

– How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

– Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

– I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.

– A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

– Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR.”

– I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

– Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

– Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

– A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

– You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive more than once.

– The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

– Always borrow money from a pessimist.  He won’t expect it back.

– A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

– Hospitality:  making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.

– Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

– I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

– Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

– There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.

– I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

– I always take life with a grain of salt… plus a slice of lime… and a shot of tequila.

– When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

– You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

– To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

– Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

– A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

– Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Next up: An interview with Master Writing Oracle Randy Ingermanson.  Who, if you click on his name as a preview, just interviewed me.  His book, “Writing Fiction For Dummies,” is already a modern classic on storytelling craft.

Please check out my new book, “Story Engineering: Mastering The Six Core Competencies of Successful Writing.”  You can read the 11 reviews (and counting) at Amazon.com (10 raves and one fuddy-duddy).  You can also read reviews HERE, HERE, HERE and HERE.  And HERE and HERE. Thanks for considering.