A Quick Wordplay Challenge. Fun. Prizes.

Let’s have some fun.

Last night I was watching an episode of The United States of Tara, Showtime’s brilliant Spielberg-produced series starring Toni Collette as a wife afflicted with multiple personalities.

Yeah, like that never happens.

What I saw that inspired today’s idea had nothing to do with the story.  As a background piece of business, an artist character was working on a series of framed posters that took a normal word and broke it into two syllables which, when viewed as two words, had a completely separate and clever meaning.

Like the word warhead, for example.  Split it, and you get war head.  

The image you get from the whole word is a bomb.  The image you get from the separate word is the face of Donald Rumsfeld.

And that’s when it came to me.  This is cool.  I began playing with other words and found the exercise sort of fun.  Not only by coming up with splitable words, but with sarcastic little defintions that apply to the new creation.

Like the word carpet, for example.  Split it into car pet, and you get the image of a dog sticking its snout out the window of a moving vehicle.

Or the word earnest, which, when split into ear nest, brings to mind an image of the stuff growing out of the side of Larry King’s head.

Or — one more example — the word panache.  Split into pan ache, you have the feeling you get when your wife smacks you upside the head with a skillet.

You get the drift.

So here’s the challenge:

Give us your best shot at this.  Or shots.

Come up with a word that can be split into two syllables that, when viewed as a pair of words, have a completely separate meaning than the original word.

To spice things up, I’ll be “judging” not only the cleverness of the word(s) choice, but also the clever defintion of the new term (see examples above) as well. 

Two more examples. 

The word subdue splits into sub due: what happens when you promise someone a sandwich and it’s time to pay up.

The word sublime splits into sub lime: what you stuff into a bottle of Corona beer while traveling in a submarine.  Really.

Okay, not exactly Jim Carey, but you get the drift.

Put your best shot(s) in the Comment thread, and I’ll announce the “winner” next Monday.

Winner of what?  One of my ebooks (your choice) to the first three places.  And bragging rights. 

Tell your friends, everyone is welcome, so let’s have some fun with this.

And remember, on Monday we begin our deconstruction of An Education, a character-driven Oscar-nominated film that teaches us much about story structure in films and novels in which nobody gets blown up or kidnapped.  Just seduced and betrayed.

Donut.  Do nut.  Anybody got a one-liner that one?


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81 Responses to A Quick Wordplay Challenge. Fun. Prizes.

  1. Deadline / dead line: Something the phone company has to fix in time.

    Sawdust / saw dust: I saw dust from far away, but when I got closer, I saw sawdust.

    Carrot / car rot: Carrot is something that will rot in a few weeks if you forgot to take it out of the trunk of your car.

  2. Edgar Tolman

    To answer your question, a “do nut” is someone who is constantly changing hairstyles.

  3. Edgar Tolman

    Dragon / drag on- what most meetings tend to do

    Barking / bar king – the last man standing in a drinking competition

    Cation / cat ion – a highly charged feline (apologies for delving into chemistry lingo)

    Starring / star ring – jewelry worn by the little-known sixth member of Captain Planet’s Planeteers. Unfortunately, the power granted by the Star Ring- allowing the wearer to glow slightly on clear nights, combined with the character’s poor grooming standards, led to his eventual dismissal during a round of budget cuts. The ring was last seen on eBay.

  4. JJ

    ‘do nut’ is what happens to you when your wife prangs the front fender. Again.

  5. JJ

    punchline/punch line – the list of a boxer’s potential opponents

  6. This reminds me of an old Jack Handy aphorism. “Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: ‘Mankind.’ Basically, it’s made up of two separate words, ‘mank’ and ‘ind.’ What do these words mean? It’s a mystery, and that’s why so is mankind.”

  7. Sandra S. Richardson

    robin – rob in: stealing something from inside a building as opposed to stealing something from the yard, which is rob out.

    Chicago – Chica go: an Hispanic guy telling his girl to get lost.

    damage – dam age: how old your dam is. Also a phrase often used by frustrated senior citizens.

  8. Great stuff, keep ’em coming. This is fun.

    @Jordan — my wife wanted to chip in on the word “mankind”, which you discussed. The split: “man kind” — a contradition in terms.


  9. Steve Aguilu

    Hi Larry,
    Had a great time at your lecture for Write on the River in Wenatchee. I’ve gotten some appreciative chuckles with your ‘thumb over the Terry Brooks book’ story.
    I also have a new dry erase board on my wall with your story structure outline and have been getting some real insights deconstructing my own novel. I had just about given up on it…thanks.

    Here’s my idea for the word game:

    Headroom (parameter in auto design)
    Head room (the trophy den of some New Guinean warrior)

    My son and I used to do these kinds of things together at bedtime like rhyming pairs: Truculent Succulent: A pissed off ice plant. Alas he has come to naught…prelaw at Gonzaga University…where did I go wrong!

    See you in Oregon some time.

    Steve Ag
    East Wenatchee

  10. Student – Stu Dent: what my door gets every time Stu parks next to me.

    Charged – Char GED: what you get when you burn your replacement for a high school diploma.

    Everest – Eve rest: nighttime sleep.

    Consider – Con Sider: One who see things from the grifter’s point of view.

    Celebrate – Celeb Rate: How much it costs to get Scarlett Johannson to be in your movie.

    Candidate – Candid Ate: when somebody uses a secret camera to film you at lunch.

    Cowering – Cow Ring: when the herd circles to protect the calves.

    Riffing off of one of the other entries –
    Location – a highly charged feline that’s depressed…

  11. outline – out line: The next down stars from when the player steps over this.

    prevent – pre vent: To roll down the car window before breaking wind.

  12. last one (for the moment)…

    increase – in crease: the stuff found where the seat and the backrest meet in your car.

  13. oops – i forgot the “e” in cowering. Amend it to read: “Cow E-Ring: a collection of bovine websites with links to each other.”

  14. advice/ad vice – the perpetual re-watching of Superbowl ads on youtube

    innovation/inn ovation – standing applause for the best inn in town

    Chicago/chic ago – styles from yesteryear

    program/pro gram – professional 0.0352739619 of an ounce

    freestyle/free style – what you have when Mom cuts your hair

    friendship/friend ship – the bass boat that makes you popular

    conquest/con quest – in search of opposition

  15. trudy

    Larry, some ‘writerly’ ones:

    tenable: ten able – your fingers, when they’re willing to write

    supreme: sup reme – eating your words-all 500 pages

    renege: re nege – multiple submissions with multiple rejections

  16. Hospitality – Ho Spitality: The ability of a prostitute to generate saliva.

  17. trudy

    Larry – and some gross generalizations:

    fertile: fer tile – that cat hair stuck in the glob of jelly that you stepped on before your first cuppa coffee

    avoid: a void – his brain after an xbox 360 marathon

    transfuse: trans fuse – whatever turns you on

    unison: uni son – the latest “Select the Sex” Contreception

    nascent: nas cent – that mysterious penny found in Petty’s race car

    nomenclature: nomen clature – Androgenous Gumby (or ‘Pat’)

  18. trudy

    Okay, one more:

    effluent: ef fluent: When Joe Biden thinks he’s off mike

  19. This is great fun Larry! I’ll have to think on mine and post later, but I just had to say thanks so much for this. I was about to have a hissy fit due to the discovery that I wasted, oh, about ten hours, of work (“real” job), when I came upon this post. So, I’m sure my co-workers thank you for taking the “bite” out of me, at least for the time being. 🙂

    By the way, forgive me if I sound biased, but my particular favorite thus far is Edgar’s Bar King.

  20. Judith

    This was a wonderful idea. I went silly.

    nuclear – Nu? clear – A Jewish window washer, who doesn’t see any reason to wash your windows.

    pinscher – pins Cher – Your goal if you wind up on the reality show, “Wrestling with Celebrity Singers.”

    puppies – pup pies –

  21. Judith

    For pup pies – definition deleted on purpose. Just don’t go there…

  22. To all — OMG, this was a mistake. You’re cracking me up… I can’t get anything else done today. I’m either reading your hilarious contributions or searching for new ditties. They’re everywhere. I can’t pick a winner so far… I’m gonna be sending out a LOT of ebooks, I think. L.

  23. One of your examples was “earnest”. Another way of splitting it would be earn est. – an estimate of the earnings you will make when you sign up for one of the zillions of internet marketing courses – i.e. probably zero. (Are abbreviations acceptable?)

  24. Okay, here goes:

    hand some: a demand you hear from your children when they catch you eating chocolate

    bur lap: the feeling on your tongue when you lick a kiwi

    e pic: your internet avatar

    lip stick: a type of stick insect characterized by its sassy comebacks

    come back: the futile cry of a man or woman who has just been dumped unexpectedly

    in sect: the status of persons who are in with the in-crowd

    defib rilator: a realtor who is incapable both of lying and spelling properly.

    And with that last non-word, I bow out.

  25. Pegg Thomas, yours were my favorite:

    “Chicago/chic ago – styles from yesteryear” and
    “advice/ad vice – the perpetual re-watching of Superbowl ads on youtube”

    I believe both are present in my life.

  26. Judith

    OK, two more and that’s it, I promise. 🙂

    removal – rem oval – Oddly shaped dreams patterns that wind up back where you started.

    torrent – tor rent – If you’ll rent the peak of a bare hill then I have some prime swamp land for ya’

  27. Pro duct: Better than amateur ducts.

    Glass ware: The beer mug you have to watch out for.

    Finger prints: More amazing than toe faxes.

    Stud ent: The eyes, nose and throat guy you *really* want to say ahh for.

    Under score: What the band plays when they’re trying to be sneaky

  28. OK, OK, I finally got a couple…

    Outsource–Out Source: To find better sources for your freelance article than anyone else.

    Asshole–Ass Hole: Someone who doesn’t know their ass from a hole in the ground (sorry, had to go there, haha!)

    Great challenge, Larry! I’ll post more if/when I think of them.

  29. Rob

    Titi llate – A strip show that doesn’t start on time.

    Butt ER – An Emergency Room specializing in injuries to one’s bum. Also known in polite company as an Aft ER.

    Ran dom – Because if he ran smart, he wouldn’t have slammed into that light post.

    Opu lent – How a lapsed Catholic feels about giving up chocolate for a month.

    Sat in – that smooth, silky feeling you get when you sit in something wet.

    Vocation Al – My friend, Al, who is always switching jobs.

    Off icer – A zamboni driver who is off duty.

  30. Bec

    Margin – mar gin: Spoil drink at the side.

    Procure – pro cure: Get healing by an expert.

    Sapling – sap ling: Weaken fish by using young tree.

  31. David.

    at.heist – someone present when a bank is robbed
    brie.fly – cheese plate ruined
    cash.mere – it’s only money
    di.versification – Elton John’s resetting of “Candle in the Wind”
    end.angered – how many people felt about the “Lost” finale
    fin.ally – a “save the whales” activist
    garb.age – vintage clothing
    hat.red – something to do with computers, I can never get this modern lingo
    inter.face – put your head in the sand
    jam.ming – cram stuff in a vase
    Klee.nex t.issue – teaser from Artforum magazine
    lei.surely – what you’ll certainly get when you reach Hawaii
    medal.lion – It’s marked “COURAGE”
    now.here – (ironic, isn’t it?)
    overt.axed – fired for mouthing off
    par.able – a better golfer than I am
    qua.train – in one’s capacity as a railroad
    redo.lent – fast all over again
    shorts.top – summer outfit
    trip.od – too many drugs will do that
    us.age – the modern era
    vine.gar – the rare vegetable fish
    wee.knight – a chess piece
    x-f.actor – they deserve a Tony (xf = abbr. extra fine. Yes, I know it’s a stretch.)
    yell.ow – react to something painful
    zit.her – how to freak her out before prom night

  32. Paul Melamud

    1) The “strich nine” – how the papers referred to the Rice University baseball fielders that conspired to poison their wives.

    2) laceration:
    a) bit for tat
    b) what one uses to spike punch at the prom

    3) mandate:
    a) a lumber party (also see: bromance)

    4) ROM antic – a joke that catches on in a flash

    5) peerage (as peer age and pee rage) – a direct result of the Duke’s growing old (e.g. as from an enlarged prostate).

  33. Okay, finally have a few:

    court yard: what a garage sale junkie, (a.k.a. Deanna Schrayer) does

    nap ping: Flicking your dad in the ear on a Sunday afternoon (rather like cow-tipping)

    Scram bling: What many of us these days have had to tell our toys to do in order to buy food

    This is too much fun Larry!

  34. Vera

    Manslaughter – man’s laughter: that comic really killed them

    Therapist – the rapist: my shrink overcharges quite a bit

    Transparent – trans parent: let’s swap kids

    Contract – con tract: housing development for felons

    Bargain – bar gain: I won the drinking game

    Directory – Di rectory: priest’s housing built by Princess

    Catarrh – cat arrh: sound made by feline pirate with a headcold

    Temptress – temp tress: like my new weave?

    Warrant – war rant: “Hell no! We won’t go!”

    Yellow – yell ow: Jeez! That hurt!

    Yosemite – yo Semite: “what up? my Jewish brotha!”

    Hispanic – his panic: he has a phobia of Latinos

    Massacre – mass acre: I’m donating my land to the church

    Mistrust – mist rust: why the Golden Gate Bridge has to be constantly repainted

    Overturn – overt urn: that is one gaudy vase!

    Parole – pa role: who’s going to play the father?

  35. Judith

    Couldn’t resist a few more:

    meme – me me – Oooh! Oooh! Pick me! (with hands waving)
    mentally – men tally – Before women won the right to vote
    supplied – supp lied – Don’t ask what was in dinner.
    appeal – app eal – IPhone sushi finder
    caters – cat ers – When another cat has your cat’s tongue.
    pungent – pun gent – Surely, you jest and don’t call me, Shirley!
    template – temp late – Again?
    using – u sing – We all sing!
    lesson – less on – Wipe on/ Wipe off.
    action – act ion – Go go gadget.
    window – wind ow – One too many turns of the key.
    capsize – cap size – What the milliner asked

    And finally because Larry used it in his blog post today
    ditties – dit ties – number of dits same as number of dahs same as number of dashes.

  36. Theodor

    Hi Larry,

    This is fun – unfortunately it’s hard to stop again (A gain: Getting a good grade once more)

    ex tension
    – there used to be tension but now there isn’t

    imp lying
    – come right out and say it, you little gnome telling falsehoods

    at heist
    – somebody who is present, when their faith is stolen

    con science
    – you know it’s wrong to perform experiments on how to trick people

    la goon
    – a guy from Los Angeles who’ll dump you in a small gulf or inlet if you don’t pay up

    It’s actually a pretty good way to come up with starting points for interesting stories.

  37. Cupboard – Cup Board – Haven’t those two girls got anything better to do?

  38. nowhere – now here:
    The art of looking for something at the same place for the fifth time and magically finding it there…

  39. planetic – splits into plane tic, just ordinary nothing flash!

    piebald – splits into pie bald, a tart (pie with nothing up top).

    phototasis – splits into photo taxis, what the glamour models use to get around London.

    passus – pass us, what will probably happen to these suggestions!

  40. One more quick one.

    aichmophobia – splits into aich mophobia, what a Scottish gent says when he’s complaining about his fears.

  41. tom

    screen play

    When 2 or more screens just let loose.

  42. Stew-art: King James boils the offending painting
    Che-wing: Guevara munches on Buffalo chicken
    Ma-king: The pharaoh Hatshepsut rises to power, eclipsing her stepson Thutmose III
    Port-able: Capable dessert wine can be carried from place to place
    Like-Ness: To favor things that resemble a lake in Scotland
    Hum-bug: To impersonate a chirping cricket
    Tub-er: A potato stutters in the bath
    Perm-it: Let the stylist give you a frizzy do
    Al-low: Gore after conceding the election

  43. Paul Melamud

    Manx (as man X): decimate

    (I’ll let you ponder that one awhile =))

  44. Bec

    Expressed – ex pressed: former spouse is flattened.

    Bicycle – bi cycle: transport for those who are happy to go in either direction.

    Impart – imp art: a small demon’s painting.

  45. Rachael

    Contact: Con tact – The skillful way that con artists deal with people.
    Considerate: Con side rate – a high insurance rate on the side that cons you out of your money.
    Appointment: App ointment – A type of software that removes irritating applications from your computer.
    Solid: So lid – Something to say after an awkward silence that has just been broken by someone muttering, “So….”.
    Improve: Imp rove – wandering around with a gait similar to that of an imp.
    Temporum: Tempo rum – Alcohol that seems to be drunk to a certain rhythm. Example: once every ten seconds, once a minute, ect.
    Recur: Re cur – To continue breeding detestable dogs.

  46. Rachael

    Quick: Qu ick – The feeling you get when trying to translate something from Chinese.
    Usually: USU ally – The person who helps you with your stocks.
    Police: PO lice – People who suck up excessively to their probation officer.
    Marrow: Mar row – An assembly line of machinery designed to make a destroyed finished product.
    Product: Pro duct – a supporter of the use various types of elongated tubes.

  47. Bryan Niblett

    sea son
    not ate
    ten ant
    rot ate
    rat her
    inn ate
    asp ire
    jet sam
    men age
    sew age
    for age
    sty list
    speck led
    bump kin
    heal thy
    cur few
    cur led
    bun ion
    but ton
    gob let
    yea sty
    fag got
    But the one I like best divides into three words:
    as in: they got together in order to get her

    Greetings from England, Bryan Niblett.

  48. Pingback: Write It Sideways Happenings, May 2010

  49. I’ve got a couple (great fun once you get going!):

    Foolproof: fool proof – that cock-up that showed everybody just what an idiot you can be;
    Startup: star tup – prize-winning uncastrated male sheep
    Subscribe: sub scribe – medieval apprentice publisher
    Open: ‘o’ pen – circular structure for keeping tups in. Probably not very effective
    Rampant: ram pant – when you’ve sheared the sheep, how’s he gonna keep warm?

  50. Frank Morin

    rummage – to poke around in a pile of junk.

    Rum Mage – Someone who draws power from spirits.

  51. Larry,

    Wow. You picked a topic that really motivated the base, eh?

    If you ever need to promote something, I think you’ve found the way to do it.

    (At the risk of repeating some…I couldn’t read them all.)

    undertow/under tow – When your light duty truck just can’t handle the job.

    cellulose/cell u lose – A condition that boxers often suffer with as a result of repeated blows to the head.

    minefield/mine field – What the settlers told the Native Americans.

    stifling/sti fling – A sexy romp in a pig sty. (forgive the spelling)

    mangrove/man grove – A place where real men are grown, currently in danger of going extinct along with the rain forest.

    foxhole/fox hole – Where Michael Bay will have to crawl if Transformers 3 bombs.

    endlessness/end lessness – The new Gatorade and/or Nike slogan.

    byplay/by play – You’ll have to ask the RNC about that one…

    Maybe more later!

    Take Care,

  52. Mark Halpin

    Incan descent: one’s Peruvian heritage.

  53. Rachael

    Betray: Be tray – The job description of a human sushi tray girl at a fancy Japanese restaurant.

  54. Ron

    @ Chris: minefield/mine field – What the settlers told the Native Americans. …LoL!

    Here’s a shot…

    Nightclub/Night Club – What women use on cheating husbands after dark.

    Foreground/Fore Ground – Your front yard.

    Makeup/Make Up – What writers do.

    Instance/In Stance – What you REALLY think of someone.

    Necktie/Neck Tie – A draw in a neck size contest.

    Dateline/Date Line – Where people stand after being stood up.

    Crossfire/Cross Fire – What Tony Robbins says to his audience during the fire walk.

  55. Brandish – Bran dish…something you eat when things aren’t moving along the way you’d like…

  56. Hi there Larry and everyone reading these,

    I can not believe that no one did one for the word in the title but I did..

    WORDPLAY~~~ word play~~ The endless distraction that most writers suffer with.
    man one: “So what did you do today?”
    man two: “Not much, I spent all day word playing.”

    and from that definition……

    ENDLESS~~~ end less~~ The fear every writer has when their story is done.
    “I just finished my story but I am worried that my end is less then is could be.”

    I hope you all have a great Memorial weekend.

    WEEKEND~~~ week end~~ when a writer can not spell and forgot to use spellchecker
    “I just don’t know how to change the week end to my story.”

    SPELLCHECKER~~~ spell checker~~ the most dangerous job at whizard school
    boy “What happen to Sam?”
    girl “Oh, he was the last spell checker and one went really bad. *shutters* “You don’t want to know. Good luck!”

    Ok, I think I am done.

  57. Heathen: Infidel domestic fowl, burned at the stake for lack of belief. Best with unleavened bread coating and potato side.

  58. Rich Irvin

    OK, I’m a hog, so I beg your indulgence:

    Tangent / Tan gent – a man with a bronze complexion
    Banking / Ban king – forbid a sovereign from entering
    Madden / Mad den – a lair of angry bears
    Subjoin / Sub join – enlist in the Navy
    Address / Ad dress – a hot little cocktail ensemble on sale
    Mustache / Must ache – the inevitable consequences of too much exercise
    Cowskin / cows kin – a bovine’s relatives
    Dotted / Dot ted- put marks all over Theodore
    Rancher / Ran Cher – entered Sonny’s ex into a political race
    Dozen / Do zen – participate in Buddhist meditation
    Wontons / Won tons – hit it big in a sweepstakes
    Tricot / Tri cot – a canvas bed for three
    Breakfast / Break fast – bolt for the door
    Doughs / Do ughs – vocalize your discomfort while lifting weights
    Reindeer / Rein deer – steer Santa’s sleigh
    Unicorn / Uni corn – the last kernel left on the cob
    Onrush / On Rush – atop a conservative talk show host
    Subsoil / Sub soil- dirt on your U-boat
    Fanfare / Fan fare- cool off your bus tokens
    Panties / Pan ties- things to make your cookware look more formal
    Dogwoods / Dog Woods – follow Tiger everywhere he goes
    Drawstring / Draw string – sketch twine
    Crowbar / Crow bar – a place where blackbirds like to hang out after work
    Beatable / Beat Able – what Cain did
    Leadership / Leader ship – the first boat in an armada
    Hurtfully / Hurt fully – ache from head to toe
    Seemed / See med – espy your prescribed capsule
    Cowhide / Cow hide – what a scared Guernsey does
    Pigeon / Pig eon- an eternity for Porkie
    Button-down / Butt on down – sitting on a goose

  59. Aboriginal/ Ab original: What your gut looked like before a lifetime of drinking beer.

  60. Oh to hell with it, this one’s from my childhood.

    Himalaya – Mom baked him-a-laya cake

    While I’m at it, let’s do…
    Child hood – Billy the Kid

  61. Sandy

    Block ade = What the kids called the lemonade stand

  62. Rapport = Rap Port – to sing rhyming lyrics on the left side of a boat.

    Slamming = Slam Ming – chant heard at a Chinese wrestling match.

    Disabling = Disa Bling – term used when you’re showing off your flashy jewelery.

  63. Walter

    ZOOLOGICAL: Zoo Logical (ever reasoned like an animal before? The outcome is usually logical, but in the level of the denizens of zoos.)

    While you were busy trying to win one of Larry’s books, I was busy doing my own wordplay, which is, in fact, zoo logical. Look below:

    why do we say [abomiNATION instead of abomiCOUNTRY]; [inSULT instead of inSUGAR]; [misTAKE instead of Mis KATE]?

    Now that’s zoo logical.

  64. Walter

    When I hear WARSAW (war saw), I wonder if the capital of Poland is some kind of WMD.

  65. HOGWASH: Hog wash (bath a pig)

    COSSET: Cos set (a group of cosines)

    CONNOTE: Con note (a deceitful/tricky note)

    ISLAND: Is land (how my kid brother pronunces island)

    INWARD: In ward (inside a hospital ward)

    ZIPCODE: Zip code (Larry, don’t you think we’d have more female hackers if our slacks’ zips came with codes?)

    COMPACT: Comp act (the act of giving something such as a ticket away free)

    RATBAG (an unpleasant person): Rat bag (a bag for stuffing rats)

    RATTAN: Rat tan (imagine a rat going for sun tanning)

    RAT-ARSED: Rat arsed (with arse like that of a rat)

    CHARLIES (stupid persons): Char lies (if we could char/burn lies, the world would be a better place.)

  66. Paul Melamud

    Hey, the rules said 2-syllables, are you allowing multiple?

    Well, either way… here’s what I came up with today:

    firedrake – (v) having let someone go for immoral workplace behavior; (n) the person thusly axed
    firmamental – see hospital, a psychiatric
    flippant – toddler pajamas with snaps in the rear to allow nighttime toilet usage
    marmot – the act of breaking your word
    mastiff – zombie’s mother
    passport – road rule for getting by slow-moving vehicles
    seven-score – the Borg implant in a Voyager crew member
    zealot – farm for Indian corn
    zoomed – fast-acting horse pill

    One of these (you can guess which) led to a three-fer. I offer it here for amusement, as your rules asked only for a 2-word split:

    bullmastiff – being cowed during a petty argument with one’s mother

  67. Speedometer = Speedo Meter – A device used to measure underwear.

  68. Booking – Boo King – to express displeasure for a member of royalty.

    Dipthong – Dip Thong – to immerse an undergarment in a liquid such as water, guacamole, or Cheez Whiz.

  69. jennifer Stevenson

    Dogma. Dog Ma: A female dog (birch) who is nursing puppies.

  70. jennifer Stevenson

    Correction…bitch. Not birch. You get the idea….

  71. ONSET (the beginning of something): ON SET (a place where a film or television program is filmed)

    SPOILAGE (waste resulting from something being spoiled) : SPOIL AGE (the average age when kids begin to learn bad things)

    WARRING (at war with each other): WAR RING (a battle field like a boxing ring)

    WARRANT (a legal document often used by cops): WAR RANT (talk or complaint about war. Or perhap battlecry)

    RAPID (happening or done very quickly and in a short time): RAP ID (an identity card given to rap artists)

    WAGON: Wag on (to continue waging)

  72. Kelly

    After I quit rolling on the floor at some of these, I have two.

    Cat Astro Phe- what it costs to send kitty into outer space.
    Hay Wire- it holds bales together.

    Thanks for the chuckles.

  73. Pingback: Wordplay: And the winner is…

  74. Gabi

    re-fer: what your cat does to your newly cleaned slacks.
    re-ferral: what your cat gives your clothes so you won’t forget them

  75. you have some great responses here to your contest! I followed you over from ProBlogger… and since I do a little proofreading for a living, I couldn’t help but notice you have a couple of typos – defintion (twice!) Sorry to be critical, really loved your post!

  76. Jim

    Manage – Man Age – The actual age of a man, actually ever man, which is that of a Jr. High boy.

  77. http//mike211.livejournal.com

  78. I’m not a writer, just a foodie blogger (sometimes), but I came across this post thanks to my PB subscription. Great suggestions, I am now rocking my brain to figure out how to implement some of them.
    In the meantime, I’ll play with the grownups:
    Teen aged: Had a teen? Then you’ve Aged.
    Rep tile: someone who sells tile
    En tire: where your rims go

  79. 1. abstain (ab stain): What I found on the front of my shirt after an unfortunate mishap changing my son’s diaper.
    2. teepee (tee pee): The result of #1.
    3. breakfast (break fast): What I will do next time to avoid the trajectory.

  80. nothing — “no thing”: definition of a eunoch.

  81. Karen

    This is not exactly your word play but it happens all the time so I couldn’t resist:

    Nunavut ( ᓄᓇᕗᑦ) is the largest and newest federal territory of Canada. – It’s literal meaning is “our land” with the emphasis in the Inuit mind firmly on the our. Properly said in Inuktitut it sounds like new/na /voot.

    If you listen to most people in the rest of Canada, they say it as none/of/it. Exactly how much the Inuit plan to give us.