Email the authorLet’s have some fun.
Last night I was watching an episode of The United States of Tara, Showtime’s brilliant Spielberg-produced series starring Toni Collette as a wife afflicted with multiple personalities.
Yeah, like that never happens.
What I saw that inspired today’s idea had nothing to do with the story. As a background piece of business, an artist character was working on a series of framed posters that took a normal word and broke it into two syllables which, when viewed as two words, had a completely separate and clever meaning.
Like the word warhead, for example. Split it, and you get war head.
The image you get from the whole word is a bomb. The image you get from the separate word is the face of Donald Rumsfeld.
And that’s when it came to me. This is cool. I began playing with other words and found the exercise sort of fun. Not only by coming up with splitable words, but with sarcastic little defintions that apply to the new creation.
Like the word carpet, for example. Split it into car pet, and you get the image of a dog sticking its snout out the window of a moving vehicle.
Or the word earnest, which, when split into ear nest, brings to mind an image of the stuff growing out of the side of Larry King’s head.
Or — one more example — the word panache. Split into pan ache, you have the feeling you get when your wife smacks you upside the head with a skillet.
You get the drift.
So here’s the challenge:
Give us your best shot at this. Or shots.
Come up with a word that can be split into two syllables that, when viewed as a pair of words, have a completely separate meaning than the original word.
To spice things up, I’ll be “judging” not only the cleverness of the word(s) choice, but also the clever defintion of the new term (see examples above) as well.
Two more examples.
The word subdue splits into sub due: what happens when you promise someone a sandwich and it’s time to pay up.
The word sublime splits into sub lime: what you stuff into a bottle of Corona beer while traveling in a submarine. Really.
Okay, not exactly Jim Carey, but you get the drift.
Put your best shot(s) in the Comment thread, and I’ll announce the “winner” next Monday.
Winner of what? One of my ebooks (your choice) to the first three places. And bragging rights.
Tell your friends, everyone is welcome, so let’s have some fun with this.
And remember, on Monday we begin our deconstruction of An Education, a character-driven Oscar-nominated film that teaches us much about story structure in films and novels in which nobody gets blown up or kidnapped. Just seduced and betrayed.
Donut. Do nut. Anybody got a one-liner that one?
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Deadline / dead line: Something the phone company has to fix in time.
Sawdust / saw dust: I saw dust from far away, but when I got closer, I saw sawdust.
Carrot / car rot: Carrot is something that will rot in a few weeks if you forgot to take it out of the trunk of your car.
To answer your question, a “do nut” is someone who is constantly changing hairstyles.
Dragon / drag on- what most meetings tend to do
Barking / bar king – the last man standing in a drinking competition
Cation / cat ion – a highly charged feline (apologies for delving into chemistry lingo)
Starring / star ring – jewelry worn by the little-known sixth member of Captain Planet’s Planeteers. Unfortunately, the power granted by the Star Ring- allowing the wearer to glow slightly on clear nights, combined with the character’s poor grooming standards, led to his eventual dismissal during a round of budget cuts. The ring was last seen on eBay.
‘do nut’ is what happens to you when your wife prangs the front fender. Again.
punchline/punch line – the list of a boxer’s potential opponents
This reminds me of an old Jack Handy aphorism. “Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: ‘Mankind.’ Basically, it’s made up of two separate words, ‘mank’ and ‘ind.’ What do these words mean? It’s a mystery, and that’s why so is mankind.”
robin – rob in: stealing something from inside a building as opposed to stealing something from the yard, which is rob out.
Chicago – Chica go: an Hispanic guy telling his girl to get lost.
damage – dam age: how old your dam is. Also a phrase often used by frustrated senior citizens.
Great stuff, keep ‘em coming. This is fun.
@Jordan — my wife wanted to chip in on the word “mankind”, which you discussed. The split: “man kind” — a contradition in terms.
Ouch.
Hi Larry,
Had a great time at your lecture for Write on the River in Wenatchee. I’ve gotten some appreciative chuckles with your ‘thumb over the Terry Brooks book’ story.
I also have a new dry erase board on my wall with your story structure outline and have been getting some real insights deconstructing my own novel. I had just about given up on it…thanks.
Here’s my idea for the word game:
Headroom (parameter in auto design)
Head room (the trophy den of some New Guinean warrior)
My son and I used to do these kinds of things together at bedtime like rhyming pairs: Truculent Succulent: A pissed off ice plant. Alas he has come to naught…prelaw at Gonzaga University…where did I go wrong!
See you in Oregon some time.
Steve Ag
East Wenatchee
Student – Stu Dent: what my door gets every time Stu parks next to me.
Charged – Char GED: what you get when you burn your replacement for a high school diploma.
Everest – Eve rest: nighttime sleep.
Consider – Con Sider: One who see things from the grifter’s point of view.
Celebrate – Celeb Rate: How much it costs to get Scarlett Johannson to be in your movie.
Candidate – Candid Ate: when somebody uses a secret camera to film you at lunch.
Cowering – Cow Ring: when the herd circles to protect the calves.
Riffing off of one of the other entries –
Location – a highly charged feline that’s depressed…
outline – out line: The next down stars from when the player steps over this.
prevent – pre vent: To roll down the car window before breaking wind.
last one (for the moment)…
increase – in crease: the stuff found where the seat and the backrest meet in your car.
oops – i forgot the “e” in cowering. Amend it to read: “Cow E-Ring: a collection of bovine websites with links to each other.”
advice/ad vice – the perpetual re-watching of Superbowl ads on youtube
innovation/inn ovation – standing applause for the best inn in town
Chicago/chic ago – styles from yesteryear
program/pro gram – professional 0.0352739619 of an ounce
freestyle/free style – what you have when Mom cuts your hair
friendship/friend ship – the bass boat that makes you popular
conquest/con quest – in search of opposition
Larry, some ‘writerly’ ones:
tenable: ten able – your fingers, when they’re willing to write
supreme: sup reme – eating your words-all 500 pages
renege: re nege – multiple submissions with multiple rejections
Hospitality – Ho Spitality: The ability of a prostitute to generate saliva.
Larry – and some gross generalizations:
fertile: fer tile – that cat hair stuck in the glob of jelly that you stepped on before your first cuppa coffee
avoid: a void – his brain after an xbox 360 marathon
transfuse: trans fuse – whatever turns you on
unison: uni son – the latest “Select the Sex” Contreception
nascent: nas cent – that mysterious penny found in Petty’s race car
nomenclature: nomen clature – Androgenous Gumby (or ‘Pat’)
Okay, one more:
effluent: ef fluent: When Joe Biden thinks he’s off mike
This is great fun Larry! I’ll have to think on mine and post later, but I just had to say thanks so much for this. I was about to have a hissy fit due to the discovery that I wasted, oh, about ten hours, of work (“real” job), when I came upon this post. So, I’m sure my co-workers thank you for taking the “bite” out of me, at least for the time being.
By the way, forgive me if I sound biased, but my particular favorite thus far is Edgar’s Bar King.
This was a wonderful idea. I went silly.
nuclear – Nu? clear – A Jewish window washer, who doesn’t see any reason to wash your windows.
pinscher – pins Cher – Your goal if you wind up on the reality show, “Wrestling with Celebrity Singers.”
puppies – pup pies -
For pup pies – definition deleted on purpose. Just don’t go there…
To all — OMG, this was a mistake. You’re cracking me up… I can’t get anything else done today. I’m either reading your hilarious contributions or searching for new ditties. They’re everywhere. I can’t pick a winner so far… I’m gonna be sending out a LOT of ebooks, I think. L.
One of your examples was “earnest”. Another way of splitting it would be earn est. – an estimate of the earnings you will make when you sign up for one of the zillions of internet marketing courses – i.e. probably zero. (Are abbreviations acceptable?)
Okay, here goes:
hand some: a demand you hear from your children when they catch you eating chocolate
bur lap: the feeling on your tongue when you lick a kiwi
e pic: your internet avatar
lip stick: a type of stick insect characterized by its sassy comebacks
come back: the futile cry of a man or woman who has just been dumped unexpectedly
in sect: the status of persons who are in with the in-crowd
defib rilator: a realtor who is incapable both of lying and spelling properly.
And with that last non-word, I bow out.
Pegg Thomas, yours were my favorite:
“Chicago/chic ago – styles from yesteryear” and
“advice/ad vice – the perpetual re-watching of Superbowl ads on youtube”
I believe both are present in my life.
OK, two more and that’s it, I promise.
removal – rem oval – Oddly shaped dreams patterns that wind up back where you started.
torrent – tor rent – If you’ll rent the peak of a bare hill then I have some prime swamp land for ya’
Pro duct: Better than amateur ducts.
Glass ware: The beer mug you have to watch out for.
Finger prints: More amazing than toe faxes.
Stud ent: The eyes, nose and throat guy you *really* want to say ahh for.
Under score: What the band plays when they’re trying to be sneaky
OK, OK, I finally got a couple…
Outsource–Out Source: To find better sources for your freelance article than anyone else.
Asshole–Ass Hole: Someone who doesn’t know their ass from a hole in the ground (sorry, had to go there, haha!)
Great challenge, Larry! I’ll post more if/when I think of them.
Titi llate – A strip show that doesn’t start on time.
Butt ER – An Emergency Room specializing in injuries to one’s bum. Also known in polite company as an Aft ER.
Ran dom – Because if he ran smart, he wouldn’t have slammed into that light post.
Opu lent – How a lapsed Catholic feels about giving up chocolate for a month.
Sat in – that smooth, silky feeling you get when you sit in something wet.
Vocation Al – My friend, Al, who is always switching jobs.
Off icer – A zamboni driver who is off duty.
Margin – mar gin: Spoil drink at the side.
Procure – pro cure: Get healing by an expert.
Sapling – sap ling: Weaken fish by using young tree.
at.heist – someone present when a bank is robbed
brie.fly – cheese plate ruined
cash.mere – it’s only money
di.versification – Elton John’s resetting of “Candle in the Wind”
end.angered – how many people felt about the “Lost” finale
fin.ally – a “save the whales” activist
garb.age – vintage clothing
hat.red – something to do with computers, I can never get this modern lingo
inter.face – put your head in the sand
jam.ming – cram stuff in a vase
Klee.nex t.issue – teaser from Artforum magazine
lei.surely – what you’ll certainly get when you reach Hawaii
medal.lion – It’s marked “COURAGE”
now.here – (ironic, isn’t it?)
overt.axed – fired for mouthing off
par.able – a better golfer than I am
qua.train – in one’s capacity as a railroad
redo.lent – fast all over again
shorts.top – summer outfit
trip.od – too many drugs will do that
us.age – the modern era
vine.gar – the rare vegetable fish
wee.knight – a chess piece
x-f.actor – they deserve a Tony (xf = abbr. extra fine. Yes, I know it’s a stretch.)
yell.ow – react to something painful
zit.her – how to freak her out before prom night
1) The “strich nine” – how the papers referred to the Rice University baseball fielders that conspired to poison their wives.
2) laceration:
a) bit for tat
b) what one uses to spike punch at the prom
3) mandate:
a) a lumber party (also see: bromance)
4) ROM antic – a joke that catches on in a flash
5) peerage (as peer age and pee rage) – a direct result of the Duke’s growing old (e.g. as from an enlarged prostate).
Okay, finally have a few:
court yard: what a garage sale junkie, (a.k.a. Deanna Schrayer) does
nap ping: Flicking your dad in the ear on a Sunday afternoon (rather like cow-tipping)
Scram bling: What many of us these days have had to tell our toys to do in order to buy food
This is too much fun Larry!
Manslaughter – man’s laughter: that comic really killed them
Therapist – the rapist: my shrink overcharges quite a bit
Transparent – trans parent: let’s swap kids
Contract – con tract: housing development for felons
Bargain – bar gain: I won the drinking game
Directory – Di rectory: priest’s housing built by Princess
Catarrh – cat arrh: sound made by feline pirate with a headcold
Temptress – temp tress: like my new weave?
Warrant – war rant: “Hell no! We won’t go!”
Yellow – yell ow: Jeez! That hurt!
Yosemite – yo Semite: “what up? my Jewish brotha!”
Hispanic – his panic: he has a phobia of Latinos
Massacre – mass acre: I’m donating my land to the church
Mistrust – mist rust: why the Golden Gate Bridge has to be constantly repainted
Overturn – overt urn: that is one gaudy vase!
Parole – pa role: who’s going to play the father?
Couldn’t resist a few more:
meme – me me – Oooh! Oooh! Pick me! (with hands waving)
mentally – men tally – Before women won the right to vote
supplied – supp lied – Don’t ask what was in dinner.
appeal – app eal – IPhone sushi finder
caters – cat ers – When another cat has your cat’s tongue.
pungent – pun gent – Surely, you jest and don’t call me, Shirley!
template – temp late – Again?
using – u sing – We all sing!
lesson – less on – Wipe on/ Wipe off.
action – act ion – Go go gadget.
window – wind ow – One too many turns of the key.
capsize – cap size – What the milliner asked
And finally because Larry used it in his blog post today
ditties – dit ties – number of dits same as number of dahs same as number of dashes.
Hi Larry,
This is fun – unfortunately it’s hard to stop again (A gain: Getting a good grade once more)
ex tension
- there used to be tension but now there isn’t
imp lying
- come right out and say it, you little gnome telling falsehoods
at heist
- somebody who is present, when their faith is stolen
con science
- you know it’s wrong to perform experiments on how to trick people
la goon
- a guy from Los Angeles who’ll dump you in a small gulf or inlet if you don’t pay up
It’s actually a pretty good way to come up with starting points for interesting stories.
Cupboard – Cup Board – Haven’t those two girls got anything better to do?
nowhere – now here:
The art of looking for something at the same place for the fifth time and magically finding it there…
planetic – splits into plane tic, just ordinary nothing flash!
piebald – splits into pie bald, a tart (pie with nothing up top).
phototasis – splits into photo taxis, what the glamour models use to get around London.
passus – pass us, what will probably happen to these suggestions!
One more quick one.
aichmophobia – splits into aich mophobia, what a Scottish gent says when he’s complaining about his fears.
screen play
When 2 or more screens just let loose.
Stew-art: King James boils the offending painting
Che-wing: Guevara munches on Buffalo chicken
Ma-king: The pharaoh Hatshepsut rises to power, eclipsing her stepson Thutmose III
Port-able: Capable dessert wine can be carried from place to place
Like-Ness: To favor things that resemble a lake in Scotland
Hum-bug: To impersonate a chirping cricket
Tub-er: A potato stutters in the bath
Perm-it: Let the stylist give you a frizzy do
Al-low: Gore after conceding the election
Manx (as man X): decimate
(I’ll let you ponder that one awhile =))
Expressed – ex pressed: former spouse is flattened.
Bicycle – bi cycle: transport for those who are happy to go in either direction.
Impart – imp art: a small demon’s painting.
Contact: Con tact – The skillful way that con artists deal with people.
Considerate: Con side rate – a high insurance rate on the side that cons you out of your money.
Appointment: App ointment – A type of software that removes irritating applications from your computer.
Solid: So lid – Something to say after an awkward silence that has just been broken by someone muttering, “So….”.
Improve: Imp rove – wandering around with a gait similar to that of an imp.
Temporum: Tempo rum – Alcohol that seems to be drunk to a certain rhythm. Example: once every ten seconds, once a minute, ect.
Recur: Re cur – To continue breeding detestable dogs.
Quick: Qu ick – The feeling you get when trying to translate something from Chinese.
Usually: USU ally – The person who helps you with your stocks.
Police: PO lice – People who suck up excessively to their probation officer.
Marrow: Mar row – An assembly line of machinery designed to make a destroyed finished product.
Product: Pro duct – a supporter of the use various types of elongated tubes.
sea son
not ate
ten ant
rot ate
rat her
inn ate
asp ire
jet sam
men age
sew age
for age
sty list
speck led
bump kin
heal thy
cur few
cur led
bun ion
but ton
gob let
yea sty
fag got
But the one I like best divides into three words:
as in: they got together in order to get her
Greetings from England, Bryan Niblett.
I’ve got a couple (great fun once you get going!):
Foolproof: fool proof – that cock-up that showed everybody just what an idiot you can be;
Startup: star tup – prize-winning uncastrated male sheep
Subscribe: sub scribe – medieval apprentice publisher
Open: ‘o’ pen – circular structure for keeping tups in. Probably not very effective
Rampant: ram pant – when you’ve sheared the sheep, how’s he gonna keep warm?
rummage – to poke around in a pile of junk.
Rum Mage – Someone who draws power from spirits.
Larry,
Wow. You picked a topic that really motivated the base, eh?
If you ever need to promote something, I think you’ve found the way to do it.
(At the risk of repeating some…I couldn’t read them all.)
undertow/under tow – When your light duty truck just can’t handle the job.
cellulose/cell u lose – A condition that boxers often suffer with as a result of repeated blows to the head.
minefield/mine field – What the settlers told the Native Americans.
stifling/sti fling – A sexy romp in a pig sty. (forgive the spelling)
mangrove/man grove – A place where real men are grown, currently in danger of going extinct along with the rain forest.
foxhole/fox hole – Where Michael Bay will have to crawl if Transformers 3 bombs.
endlessness/end lessness – The new Gatorade and/or Nike slogan.
byplay/by play – You’ll have to ask the RNC about that one…
Maybe more later!
Take Care,
Chris
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